When Memories Are Scars

All in a Day's Work

"I should never have even been at the mill," says Terrell Kyle, a 43-year-old cabinetmaker from Caribou, Maine. "That's what really gets me."

Kyle is the sort of solitary woodworker who'd rather fashion the occasional cabinet in his garage workshop than work behind the big-mill, big-money lumber machines that churn thousands of logs into millions of planks each day. But in the winter of 2005, his family short on cash, he went back to the mill, reluctant but resolute.

About 3 months in & just 25 minutes before the end of a brutal graveyard shift, the conveyor belt of lumber under Kyle's watch jammed. He walked over to do the usual routine: Hit the kill switch, clear the board, restart the saw.

And that's how it might have gone, in fact, if he'd been more familiar with the equipment, if it hadn't been his 10th machine of the day, or if he hadn't been working at high speed for 11 hours & 35 minutes among some very sharp, very dangerous, very finicky machinery.

As it happened, he dislodged the board, his hand kicked back into 24 inches of whirring steel & in a flurry of blood & blade, Kyle lost all the fingers & the thumb on his left hand.

"I keep coming back to that moment," he says. "I know I was screaming. But here's the thing:

I don't ever remember looking at my hand. That moment is just lost. My supervisor came over & I told him I had lost all of my fingers, so I'm sure I knew. But I just walked out of the mill & had a cigarette."

The orthopedic surgeon at the nearest hospital decided Kyle's injuries were beyond his reach, so the carpenter was helicoptered, along with a plastic bag containing 4 of his fingers breaded in sawdust, to Massachusetts General Hospital.

There, he met an on-call member of Dr. Pitman's team & was administered a pill - either propranolol or a placebo - & underwent reattachment surgery.

The Role of Adrenaline

Kyle's hand rejected the fingers soon after & months later, he still can't erase the painful memories. "Sometimes I wonder if I would have been better off as an automobile-accident victim with amnesia," he says.

"The memory just seemed to impregnate itself so that it's there, all the time, like static, on the fringes of my mind, finding a way to intrude on my other thoughts. Anything going around fast creates this clenching feeling inside my chest. A snowblower. An airplane propeller. Car wheels. I often think I'm having a heart attack. I mean, consciously I know I'm not in any danger. But subconsciously, it makes me want to run, to get away, to not look, to plug my ears."

Kyle's psychological symptoms - blackouts, flashbacks, depression, anxiety, insomnia, irritability & hypervigilance - aren't the only tolls paid by PTSD sufferers.

In a 2006 study, researchers in Switzerland found that the syndrome significantly raises the levels of a key blood-clotting agent, promoting arteriosclerosis & by extension, increasing the risk of heart disease. Traumatic stress has also been linked to immune system, gut & muscle disorders, such as hemorrhaging & ulcers.

Posttraumatic stress amounts to a spectacular breakdown of what's normally a very helpful mechanism. Bundling an emotional component with a memory dovetails with Darwin's theory of natural selection, says Dr. Pitman. "If you, as a Paleolithic man, happen to be taking a new route to the watering hole one day & encounter a crocodile, you'd better remember that crocodile," he says. "If you don't, you'll be eliminated from the gene pool. Adrenaline not only helps you escape, but strengthens that emotional component to make sure you won't forget."

But extremely traumatic events can unleash a torrent of stress hormones, searing the memory into the brain. That's where propranolol enters the picture. It blunts the impact of stress hormones on the amygdala, the small, emotional control center in the middle of your brain.

As a result, the brain is able to encode the traumatic memory as a factual event, a garden-variety horrible memory, rather than a world-changing, panic-inducing schism in consciousness. It's like removing the crescendo of violins from the climax of an action movie:

You still know what's happening, but you're able to focus on just the facts.

Erasing Memories from the Hard Drive

Propranolol is part of a class of drugs called beta-blockers already being used to treat real-time anxiety disorders, such as performance anxiety in public speakers.

Dr. Pitman's study hinges on administering the drug within 6 hours of a traumatic event. And other researchers have been stretching the window even further - uncovering new revelations about how memories are made & stored in the brain.

"The old story was that once memories are stored, they're stored forever," says Karim Nader, Ph.D., a researcher at McGill University, in Montreal. Nader specializes in the relatively new field of memory "reconsolidation," the subsequent revision of a memory after it's already been transferred into long-term storage.

"But what I found is that once you access a memory, you have to restore it. It's kind of like taking a file off the hard drive & putting it into RAM - you have to save it to the hard drive all over again, or parts of it can get lost."

Nader & his researchers have found an ingenious way to induce just such a memory loss - even in patients more than 3 decades removed from a traumatic event.

First, he administers propranolol, effectively hitting the emotional mute button. Then he uses the same sort of prerecorded narration that Dr. Pitman (a co-researcher on the project) does to bring the memory into RAM.

Finally, he moves on to other memories & the patient's brain naturally "reconsolidates" the traumatic one with much less drama. Nader is now expanding the study in an attempt to corroborate his results with a larger group of subjects.

"Nobody knows when they're going to be in a car accident, or be raped, or be kidnapped, so trying to give them a pill within 6 hours of the trauma is difficult," he says.

"But we can control the memory now, bringing it back to the point of sensitivity no matter when it occurred. This could have implications for all kinds of problems:

drug addiction, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or anything where you need to change the wiring in the brain."

As visceral as they may be, traumatic events - explosions, stabbings, car crashes - may be less to blame for PTSD than the brains of the sufferers themselves.

That's the lesson from as-yet-unpublished research on the army's 10th Mountain Division, a light-infantry, rapid-deployment force that has been dispatched into active duty more frequently than any other army division over the past decade.

Stress Resistance

What's unique about these soldiers, beyond their combat training & high stress levels, is their uniformity: They're all healthy, they're all screened often to eliminate psychological maladies & substance abusers & most important, they're all willing to let Deane Aikins, the Yale psychologist, scan their brains, drain their blood & shock them with a small probe, all in the name of science.

Aikins, a soft-spoken researcher charged with helping the Department of Veterans Affairs plan its approach to treating the waves of soldiers returning from Iraq, designed an experiment to compare how the soldiers would react to two different stimuli:

an innocuous pulse of light & a pulse of light paired with a slight electrical shock.

He found that soldiers who overreacted to the innocuous stimulus were more likely to develop PTSD in Iraq if exposed to a traumatic event (95% of active-duty members are) than the cool-hand Lukes in the crowd. What could the key physiological difference be?

A chemical called neuropeptide Y.

"In another study, we found that stress-resilient guys were under the same amount of combat stress as the PTSD guys & indeed some of them were from the same unit," says Aikins, who plans to publish his research this fall.

"But there's an explosion, somebody dies, a Humvee flips & then one guy gets PTSD & another guy from the same unit doesn't. Why?

Lo & behold, we're finding that the men who are unflappable may also have lower levels of cortisol & higher levels of neuropeptide Y."

Neuropeptide Y is one of hundreds of compounds involved in the complicated braiding of stress signals & memory. It isn't easily administered or synthesized & so Aikins's research is valuable largely for prescreening for PTSD susceptibility, rather than as a means of treatment.

But it's proof positive that the way we react to any stress - even a slight shock & an annoying flash of light - dictates the way we're likely to react to the most extreme stressors.

Flight-or-Flight Response

Beneath all the bells & whistles, behind all the high-level cognition - calculus, poetry, Sudoku - the brain is just a fancy system for detecting & avoiding stress.

Nobel Prize-winning researcher Eric Kandel demonstrated this more than 50 years ago by analyzing the nervous system of a simple sea snail, called aplysia.

The snail's nervous system, Kandel found, would change at the synaptic level when it "learned," strengthening the connection between nerve cells that carry out a particular behavior (gill retraction) & sensory nerve cells that react to a stimulus (mechanical probe).

It was a seminal discovery: Actual physical changes, both in how the neurons connect to one another & within the chemical gateways that govern the firing of each neuron itself, underlie learning & memory.

The consequence of having a brain tuned to change with even minor stress, however, is that it's extra-sensitive to overload by extreme stress. Over the past decade, molecular biologists have begun to unravel how this happens at the cellular level.

"The brain is like a collection of mobile phone networks," says Hermona Soreq, Ph.D., a Jerusalem-based neurobiologist who has developed a drug to block PTSD at the DNA level. "They all communicate within themselves, but also within each other. We know that when there's a big disaster, like the recent missile attacks, the network crashes. That's posttraumatic stress for you. That's what we see in the shelters & streets every day."

Soreq's motivation for beating PTSD is anything but academic: I spoke with her the day before the UN-proposed cease-fire went into effect in the Israeli-Lebanese conflict, as she feared for the safety of her son, a soldier & as both sides bombed & strafed to try to claim victory with the deadline looming.

Threats of any kind - especially life-threatening ones - trigger the release of the fight-or-flight neurotransmitter acetylcholine. Add more & the neurons fire faster & more efficiently, speeding up the network.

Take it away - this is what chemical-warfare agents like Sarin or Zyklon B do - & you essentially shut down the network. To keep us on an even keel, the brain releases certain chemicals to help tone down this fight-or-flight response after the threat has passed.

But if we keep seeing Dr. Pitman's crocodiles, even just in our heads, these compounds can permanently alter the structure of our brain, disrupting our neurochemical balance & leading to PTSD-like problems.

Playing God with the Brain

Soreq's drug, called Monarsen (after her nickname, Mona), stops the unbalancing by blocking production of one of these buffering compounds, a persistent, fast-moving version that appears only during stressful situations.

Monarsen effectively handcuffs the compound's DNA blueprint, or gene, from being turned into a biologically active protein, cutting the problem off at the source.

"What we do in present-day therapy, with drugs such as Prozac or propranolol, is the least economical approach," says Soreq. "We try to block the bottom of the gene-expression pyramid - the proteins, the stress hormones such as cortisol or adrenaline," she says.

"But you have one gene at the top of the pyramid controlling everything, so why not aim there?"

Monarsen, then, is the equivalent of using a laser-guided missile to target an enemy's headquarters instead of razing the entire town. That precision enables it to be administered in smaller doses, with fewer side effects.

And because acetylcholine impacts cellular signaling throughout the body, from the immune system to the red blood cells, it may prevent an even wider range of stress-caused symptoms.

"Our goal is to prevent changes in the brain that have the potential to ruin the life of a child who spends 4 weeks in a bomb shelter, or the victims of 9/11," she says. "Or the soldiers now fighting in Iraq."

"That's like playing god with the brain," says Barry Romo, a national coordinator with a Vietnam-veterans antiwar group. "One of the things that keeps us from remaking mistakes is looking back & having regret, as opposed to thinking, Well ..., that was a close shave, but at least I'm okay."

Romo, one of a small but very vocal group of critics of Soreq's & Dr. Pitman's research, worries that the way we interpret memories, whether terrifyingly vivid or naive & nostalgic, is part of who we are as individuals.

To tinker with that is to step onto unsteady ethical ground.

Avoiding Abuse

"I think people have a right to have medication, if they need it, but I have to wonder what these drugs will be used for in the hands of police or the military or someone who doesn't deserve them," he says. "We don't want to create a bunch of storm troopers who can do anything they want without having to worry about the repercussions."

Dr. Pitman, for his part, says that's overstating what such drugs can do - at least for now. "I think it's far-fetched, but it's possible that something like that will be found. I don't think it's going to be with propranolol, but it's possible," he says.

"But then you get into the question of 'Do we hold back a drug from people it can help simply to prevent others from abusing it?' If we practiced that, then nobody in the hospital would be able to get morphine for their pain. When you're talking about people who are dying of cancer, it's not really a tough decision."

Cabinetmaker Terrell Kyle won't know for another year whether he received the placebo or the active drug in Pitman's double-blind study. But simply learning about the biology of his disorder has helped Kyle deal with the flashbacks & panic attacks, rein in his rage around the house & reconnect with his daughter, who, he says, bore the brunt of his mood swings.

The prosthetic he's been given is too clumsy for detailed woodworking, but Kyle hopes that someday he might even be able to fire up some of the new tools that now sit in his garage gathering dust.

"Some people go thru years & years of torture," he says. "Should we mess with their memories? Should we be able to take those thoughts away? Absolutely. We want to act as though nothing happened, but it's never that easy."

"It's not about playing God," Kyle goes on. "It's about finding a way to feel human again."

While the underlying theories are very technical, the concept is presented in a nontechnical manner. After reading this information, you're encouraged to practice the techniques, be curious about how your file system works & observe it in operation & make the most of the new knowledge & understanding available.

Introduction

A psychologist doesn't need to inform individuals about memory, we all know what memory is.

Memory allows us to recognize faces of old classmates, remember old songs, remember good times & bad times & remember important information about events/experiences in our life.

Much like a modern-day computer, the brain stores memories in a system of files. In the past, these files were thought to contain only information or data, much like the files in an office contain patient information or file in a computer contains words or numbers.

As science advances, we're beginning to know more about the brain & how it stores memories.

Recent studies in psychology and neurology tell us that the files contain not only data / information, but emotions as well. In a manner that is still partially unknown, the brain has the ability to store not only memories but emotions as well - as they occurred at the time the memory was made.

Memory files thus contain two parts, the information about the event & the feeling we had at the time of the event. Graphically put:

Daily Memory

Throughout the day, we experience a variety of good, bad & in-between experiences. A specific memory area of the brain will hold memories for about 5 days, to see if they're important.

Memories that aren't important are usually "dumped" or erased after the 5 day waiting period. These erased memories can never be recovered. As an example, we don't remember how many times we turn on a light unless it shocks us or blows up.

We can store & create memory with data only, as when memorizing spelling words or learning math. The brain will memorize w/ frequent repetition or constant use. However, if a memory file containing only data is not frequently used, the memory slowly fades away.

Examples:

1. Can you calculate square root by hand? 
2. Do you remember the names of all your high school teachers or classmates? In the second question, chances are you can remember those who also have an EM file!

Most of us can't remember our many trips to the grocery store or service station. However, we'll always remember times which have a good or bad value such as the time a store was robbed when we were there, the time an old lady threatened us over a can of green beans, or the time we spilled gasoline all over our clothes in one of those self-serve pumps.

We don't remember washing our car unless that spray wand at the car wash facility got loose & just about gave us a skull fracture. In short, if a daily memory doesn't have a strong good or bad emotional value, it's faded out.

As years pass, we build up quite a file system. We build up a collection of good memories & bad memories. Our brain has the ability to pull these memories at the drop of a hat - almost instantly. As an example, read the following questions & watch how fast your brain pulls the file:

1. Name some songs by the Beatles.
2. Where were you when the space shuttle exploded?
3. Where were you when John F. Kennedy was assassinated?
4. Who was your favorite high school teacher?

As you can see, your brain instantly pulls a file when a question is asked. Importantly, you have no control over what file is pulled, how fast it's pulled, or what's in the file.

For example, younger adults & teenagers may have no "file" on the Kennedy assassination. They weren't around at the time or old enough to make a memory of that experience. As an additional example, every older adult remembers almost every detail of where he/she was when Pearl Harbor was attacked on December 7, 1949.

Those with emotional memories can't only give you the exact details, but a variety of random & irrelevant details surrounding the event. This is how powerful "emotional memory" (EM) can be.

Those of you with a "Pearl Harbor" file might have rapidly noted that the above date of the attack was incorrect, it should have been 1941. If you had a file for that date in history, you might have immediately noted the error.

When we have no file however, our brain doesn't alert us to errors. This example is used to illustrate just how fast the brain can not only react, but notice mistakes. This is another automatic brain activity.

Thoughts change brain chemistry.

That sounds so simple but that's the way it is, w/our thoughts changing neurotransmitters (see right hand column for info concerning neurotransmitters) on a daily basis.

If a man walks into a room w/a gun, we think "threat" & the brain releases norepinephrine (see right hand column for info concerning norepinephrine); in result we become:

• tense
• alert
• develop sweaty palms 
• our heart beats faster

If he then bites the barrel of the gun, telling us the gun is actually chocolate, the brain rapidly changes its' opinion & we relax & laugh - the jokes on us.

We feel what we think! Positive thinking works. As the above example suggests, what we think about a situation actually creates our mood.

The emotional part of a memory begins 90 to 120 seconds after a file is pulled.

In mental health situations, this is perhaps the most important neurological rule. Once we pull a file, after 90 seconds the emotional component begins. Our mood starts to change, returning us to the mood which was present when the file was made.

As an example, remember someone discussing the recent death of a loved one. The first 2 minutes of conversation may go well - then they become sad. The longer the file is out (being discussed), the more the emotional component surfaces to the point that they'll become tearful.

If the file remains out, the exact feelings made at the time of the funeral & death will surface - they'll talk about loss, love, guilt, or whatever other feelings are in the file.

As another example, ask someone about the biggest fish they have caught. When the file is pulled you will receive about 2 minutes of data, "the where & when."

Once the memory relives the catch:

• the person's eyes will widen
• their energy level will increase
• they may begin arching their back as though illustrating a tough fight
• their entire mood & posture will move as though simulating the reeling-in of a fish.

Again, after about 2 minutes, the emotional component begins to act on our brain chemistry, changing our mood / feelings back to that time.

Socially, imagine having a "bad file" on an individual in the community. You're minding your own business & shopping at Kroger's. You turn the corner only to be confronted by Mr. X.

What happens is this:

• your brain immediately pulls the file
• you're somewhat confused at first
• your emotion of anger, fear, or whatever is in the file begins to surface

Even though you may not have seen the individual in 10 years, the Emotional Memory (EM) file is still active & wide-awake in your brain. This explains how many people can say that simply seeing an enemy or disliked person can ruin their entire day.  If the file isn't properly controlled, the mood will remain for the rest of the day.

The goal in file control is to prevent the 90 second emotion from coming to the surface.

The brain is constantly, every second, pulling files for our reference. It scans & monitors our environment constantly.

You've heard people compare the brain to a computer. Like a computer, the human brain has a huge database containing billions of files (memories) for our reference.

As you read this document your brain pulls definitions of words or phrases. As we meet people during daily activities, the brain pulls their "file" for their name & related information. You'll note that w/ people we haven't seen for many years the brain recognizes the face first (a talent located in the right side of the brain) but often takes a while to locate the name (located in the left side of the brain).

As the left-brain contains language & speech, it's more crowded over there & processing is a bit slower.

If we travel to another city, the brain pulls up the map & landmarks. Additionally, if we are a frequent traveler to that city, our journey to Cincinnati, Ohio will pull files as we travel.

Just sit back & listen to the "file pulling" that takes place on a trip.

• "Hey Mom, remember the bathroom in that gas station from last year  Uck!"
• "This is where that bad wreck was a few years ago coming back from the beach."
• If the brain recognizes something (road, building, sign, etc.) - it pulls its' file. It's that simple.

Always on the alert & ready to pull a file, the brain has built-in protection behaviors.

People that are shy & introverted (socially uncomfortable & withdrawn) tell therapists that when they enter a restaurant, people look at them, creating anxiety. It's true. When anything enters our range of scanning, almost like our radar range, the brain looks at it.

A person walking into a room is "scanned" by almost everyone else, that scanning procedure taking about 2 seconds.

The brains looks:

1. to see if we have a file/reference 
2. for protection
3. If the new individual is odd-looking, carrying a weapon, or naked - the brain will start a full-scan & react accordingly (long stare, fright, or "Don't I know you?).

Individuals w/physical features that are unusual will tell us about the common "double takes" they receive at grocery stores. At the same time, other people may dress unusually for exactly that reason.

Some people enjoy the constant attention & double-takes that are produced by wearing a safety pin in your nose or coloring your hair bright yellow.

In the bottomline, your brain is always scanning & looking for references / files. These references are designed to help you, as when remembering an old friend, the location of the store in a mall, or when remembering needed facts / details.

This is an automatic procedure, a reflex & instinct. To override or cancel this natural / normal procedure requires manual control. As an example, it's said that in a "sophisticated" restaurant, you know the diners have "class" when the busboy loudly drops a tray of dishes & no one looks up!

Now that's overriding the normal brain response.

Pulling these files automatically is great - unless they contain uncomfortable emotional memory. This is where another rule is important.

The brain only allows one file out at a time.

This rule of brain operation is easy to understand. Much like a television, VCR, or tape player, only one channel / program / tape is allowed to operate at a time. The brain works the same way.

As you read this paper, your brain is focusing on information in the paper. Luckily, the brain will focus on anything we choose, or will play any file or tape we choose. If you suddenly decide to stop reading this paper & watch television, your brain will completely go along w/ that idea.

Also, your brain can switch files at the speed of light. As an example, allow your brain to change files as your read the following sentences:

1. Where was your best vacation?
2. Who is your favorite relative?
3. Think about the person who last died in your family.

As you read those questions, you brain immediately pulled the files to provide you w/ the information.

The first 2 questions were rather routine & even if the files were allowed to remain open, would probably not cause much in the way of emotional distress or upset.

However, what about the 3rd file. If we allowed it to stay open, we may start thinking about departed grandmother, parents, or close friends. That file, after the 2 minute limit, would make us feel sad, lonely & create all the feelings associated w/ grief.

Importantly, the brain doesn't care whether it's thinking about a departed relative or your favorite song.

The brain doesn't care which file is active.

Like the body, the brain operates many times on automatic. Our breathing operates the same way. We can take control of our breathing & inhale, exhale, inhale & so forth. We can also ignore our breathing, the brain will switch to automatic & we'll breath anyway.

The brain operates the same way. It'll automatically pull files as we go about our day. As we see fellow co-workers, friends, or neighbors, it'll automatically pull their file - that's how we remember their name & information about them.

The brain does this automatically. Importantly however, the brain really doesn't care which file is out. However, the fact that the brain operates on automatic is important to us.

When the brain operates on automatic, the files it pulls are greatly influenced by our mood.

For example, if you are severely depressed, if your brain is left on "automatic," it will pull nothing but bad, trash & garbage files. When depressed, due to the brain chemistry involved, our brain will automatically pick bad files to torment us.

Our brain will pull every bad file it can find, often far back into our childhood. As long as the depressed brain operates on automatic, it will continue to make us miserable by pulling every file which has guilt, depression, & a bad mood in it. It will play a series of our "worst hits".

Remember, we can change files at will. Since the brain really doesn't care which file is active, a depressed mood can be changed by simply switching the brain to manual, taking more control over our thoughts.

This is especially helpful when a bad file is pulled accidentally. This fact will be discussed further in this paper.

Like the files, the brain only allows one feeling or emotion to be active at a time.

Again, this is a simple rule if we think about it. At any one second, the brain only allows one feeling. We can't be happy & sad at the same time. As an example, it's almost impossible to be in a "romantic" mood if you are anxious, depressed, or fearful.

In another example, pull a file on someone you think is romantically attractive. Get a picture of that person in your mind. Now imagine someone throwing a large snake on your lap. You'll notice the romance immediately disappears & fear of the snake becomes the active emotion.

Many people have used this brain rule to deal w/ bad files. As an example, many people have bad files on certain individuals. Suppose we have a bad file on "John Doe." The mention of his name, seeing him in the street, or any reference to this man brings up a bad file which has bad feelings - anger, hatred, resentment, etc.

One way to cope w/ this bad file is to place a funny name or comment on the file label. In other words, instead of a "John Doe" file, we now have a "Beanie Weenie" file. You'll notice that many divorced individuals have humorous names for their ex-spouse. This is the same principle. If we pull up a bad file but we have a funny name on it, it prolongs the emotion from surfacing & allows us to put the file away without any problem.

The fact that the brain allows only one feeling also allows us to have great control over our moods, more than we think. For example: A nasty neighbor calls & harasses us for some reason. We immediately pull the file on this neighbor, then another file as we are upset & end up hanging up w/a mood of anger, resentment & an attitude of "I'll break her face."

As long as we keep her file out during the day, our mood will be the same - anger, resentment & so forth. In high stress jobs, for example, people frequently assure others that they don't take their job home w/ them, that they leave the work, briefcase & paperwork at the office.

Importantly, while they don't take the "work" home w/ them, they clearly take the "mood" home w/ them. They don't bring home the briefcase, they bring home the irritability, tension & high-stress feelings.

However, if we choose to change our mood, we can do things like listen to favorite songs, look at a high school annual, look at vacation pictures & do other things which will cause the brain to pull different files which have different moods - better moods.

Keep in mind, the brain will do anything we want: it will allow us to be angry the rest of the day or it will allow us to change it's mood - it simply doesn't care.

You can't argue with a file.

When a file comes out, it's as though we have placed a tape in our VCR. The tape begins playing & we hear the same discussion or feel the same feelings over & over.

Husbands & wives refer to this sometimes as "broken record" conversations. We get the same lectures, the same anger, the same resentment, the same everything - it's in the file.

As an example, 2 people can be discussing whether they have enough money to purchase a lawnmower. The wife mentions using a particular credit card - that pulls a bad file in her husband, perhaps the "VISA" file.

At that point, the husband launches into a long story about credit cards, high interest, harassing letters & so forth. When that file is opened up, a discussion about the lawnmower becomes useless.

The way files open & close in our brain can be a real problem w/communication. While we may try to remain business-like & focus on a topic of discussion, we can't help but pull files. This brings up to another rule:

The Brain doesn't know if a file is real or imagined!

How can this be? The brain makes files based on information it's given, usually thru our senses but sometimes thru our thoughts.

If we have a sweetheart, being in the same room will give us that warm, romantic feeling. However, looking at their picture & thinking about them will do the same thing - even though they are not present. Even better, simply thinking about them will produce the same feelings (pulling the same file).

The brain only reacts to the file or image, it doesn't care how it receives that image or information, by physical presence, by reminders (pictures), or by "thought".

Psychologists at the University of Chicago took 3 groups of basketball players. Group 1 practiced foul shots each day for 30 days. Group 2 was instructed to "imagine" shooting foul shots each day for 30 days. Group 3 was instructed to do nothing. When tested, Group 1 (practicing shots) improved 24%. Group 3 (doing nothing) had no improvement. Group 2, the group that only imagined shooting foul shots, improved 23% yet didn't physically touch a basketball.

Why? As far as the brain knew, both groups that practiced (real & imagined) had shot foul shots daily but Group 2 never missed! Group 2, never missing, was given more emotional confidence by their brain & the brain also memorized the foul-shooting pattern as though they were on the court. In Group 1, their brain experienced the hit & miss pattern of actual foul shooting which didn't build confidence.

Why mention this? We have the ability to build our own files, even when the actual real-world experience is lacking. Using our imagination, we can alter files by imagining new information. If shy, we imagine ourselves in gradually more & more social situations, talking w/ friends, being in groups, giving talks to groups, teaching, & finally being on Johnny Carson.

If we have bad files on certain people, using our imagination, we "add" new information to the file. We really do this everyday. If we are wronged by someone, our anger becomes uncomfortable to the point that we begin imagining how guilty they must feel, how low their life really is, & how they will be unhappy the rest of their days. After our brain works on that file, we eventually feel sorry for them! While the brain does this job for us normally, we need to hurry the process along at times.

Pick a target problem for improvement - then design, imagine & create a set of files to correct it. If you have problems dealing w/ your supervisor at work, imagine situations in which you first talk to him, then gradually stand your ground in a business manner. We can create files to help anything from tennis backhand to social withdrawal.

Making New Files

• Since our brain can't tell real from imagined experiences, practice making new files to replace your old. If shy, imagine or daydream social competency. If uncomfortable around certain people, imagine positive meetings & outcomes w/ them.

• Depressed & anxious individuals always imagine negative experiences & the brain changes chemistry because it thinks that experience happened. If we sit down & think that a loved one has died (even though they are in the next room), our brain will make us depressed & we'll cry. If depressed or anxious, think the opposite of the brain's normal disposition - daydream or imagine only positive experiences. It may sound strange but your brain will think your life is better (it only knows what it's told!) & will chemically lift your mood gradually.

• Pick an area in which your are having trouble. Create / Invent new files to deal w/ that situation. If uncomfortable around your supervisor at work or your relatives, imagine positive scenes in which you solve conflicts or make adjustments.

• If confidence & self-esteem are low, imagine scenes in which your confidence is increased. Imagine being praised for your efforts, being successful, or finally receiving the acceptance/affection from those who have not provided it in the past.

There are other ways to deal w/ old files as well.

Changing, Destroying & Contaminating Old Files

The brain's file system, just like the government's files, can be ruined & changed in many ways. One way to change a bad file is to alter it's content, to add additional information of your choosing - again, the funnier the better.

If you have a file where a parent is scolding you, bring up the file, then add the fact that the parent is only 6" tall, standing on a desk & shaking his / her little finger at you.

We can also take a file, review the content & emotion & find funny things about the file. With some imagination, we can rewrite a file which contained a fight or argument into something looking like The Three Stooges. If we put laughter / humor in the file, it changes the emotional content.

Files can also be "watered down". As an example, thinking about bad files while our favorite music plays in the background has a way of watering down a file, making it lose it's emotional impact.

1. Remembering hearing a good song for the first time on the radio & falling in love w/ it. However, after hearing it 100 times during the next month, it loses it's emotional value.

   Files can be erasing by literally boring them to death or a "watering down" procedure. If we have the time & opportunity, we can set aside a time for file destruction. During the particular 15 minutes of the day, we allow ourselves to pull up files & see what's in them, feel some of the emotion & practice changing the files.

2. We can also water down files by pulling them in different situations. If we have a bad file, pull that file when watching TV or video, listening to music, or when resting in the sun on the beach. While the file is out, add observations of your circumstances (the music, scenery, etc.) to the file, a technique that both lowers the anxiety present as well as spoiling the bad file.

3. Remember that humor is the best way to contaminate a file. If a bad file is out, find everything about the memory that is silly, humorous, or comical. If nothing is - invent something funny about that experience. Rehearse how things might have happened different, in a funnier manner, than we remember.

4. When a file is out, remind yourself frequently that it is simply a file of your past - Where you've been - Not where you are. We can watch movies of World War II but we must remind ourselves that we're not currently at war! Self-comments such as "I'm glad I don't live that way anymore!" or "Those sure were tough times!" are helpful. Compare old files w/ your current situation. This is helpful in old-file jealousy or suspicion, reminding ourselves that our current partner isn't our old partner.

File Control in Special Situations

• File control is a serious problem in alcohol or substance abuse. Remember: the alcohol and substance (marijuana, cocaine, etc.) automatically create good files due to their action on the brain. Sadly, bad files are created in the abusers home/family due to fights, arguments, and hangovers. Therefore, thinking of alcohol/drugs rarely brings up a bad file to make the situation unpleasant. In fact, talking about drinking or using drugs usually brings a smile.

  To combat this situation, those who have problems with drugs and/or alcohol are advised to pull a bad file when confronted with substances. This is a common situation in those trying to maintain sobriety. How many times have we socially heard someone turn down a beer with "No thanks, My wife would kill me! I'd have no job and my children wouldn't speak to me!"

  That person is using a file with a marital argument in it to kill his previous attraction to the substance. If people pulled up a file on their worst hangover every time they thought of alcohol, we might see a dramatic drop in national alcohol consumption.

• File control is especially important in marital/family discussions. Remembering our 90-120 second rule about emotions surfacing when a file is pulled, marital discussions on sensitive topics are best controlled by time-out techniques which prevent entire files from being pulled. Couples are encouraged to conduct business meetings with an egg timer! A three-minute egg timer allows each party three minutes to state an issue, then three minutes for the partner, and so on. The three-minute timer prevents "files" from taking control of the discussion is couples stick to the procedure.

• The filing system works at night too! Dreams are often jumbled as the brain pulls files & puts them together in our dreams. Dreams are actually a time in which the brain sorts its' files, at the same time pulling old files. Events during the day are reviewed and combined with old files in our dreams. That's why we may dream of taking a shower in the middle of downtown Columbus! Dreams only reflect our memory and our mood - they do not actually contain hidden truths, warnings, or other special information.

• Many individuals have be traumatized by assault, death of loved ones, illness, hospitalization, arguments, and other emotionally stressful events. Emotional trauma produces a huge file, including the feelings of the event. To make matters worse, those concerned with our welfare after the trauma often feel the need to ask us about it - pulling the file! Trauma victims are encouraged to create several rehearsed answers to common comments/questions, much like the President's press secretary reads responses from a prepared paper. The rehearsed response or "Press Release" usually prevents the original "bad" file from surfacing as you are too busy recalling your rehearsed comment. Example:

  Question: "What happened to you the other night?"

  Response: "I guess things got a little out of hand. I'm sorting things out right now and as soon as I have all the details I'll sit down and give you the story. I've discovered it's better not to talk about it right now but I'm doing ok."

Trauma victims will also find that a location or set of circumstances will almost immediately pull a strong file. Be prepared for the "I can't go back there" reaction, often attached to a work site (where injured), location of the trauma in your community, or activity ("I can stand to drive anymore").

Importantly, remember that if you have been traumatized - so have the people who care about you! Your presence, phone call, or visit may pull their files about your experience, files containing grief, feelings of helplessness, sadness, emotional shock, and so forth.

This is why many friends / relatives often avoid a trauma victim or depressed friend/relative at first - it pulls their files which contain sadness, anger, anxiety, and feelings of helplessness. The traumatized individual can often help by using a rehearsed "file" which sends a signal to loved ones that the situation and condition is being managed.

Anger & Trauma

A National Center for PTSD Fact Sheet

Why is anger a common response to trauma?

Anger is usually a central feature of a survivor's response to trauma because it's a core component of the survival response in humans.

Anger helps people cope with life's adversities by providing us with increased energy to persist in the face of obstacles. However, uncontrolled anger can lead to a continued sense of being out of control of oneself & can create multiple problems in the personal lives of those who suffer from PTSD.

One theory of anger & trauma suggests that high levels of anger are related to a natural survival instinct. When initially confronted with extreme threat, anger is a normal response to terror, events that seem unfair & feeling out of control or victimized.

It can help a person survive by mobilizing all of his or her attention, thought, brain energy & action toward survival. Recent research has shown that these responses to extreme threat can become "stuck" in persons with PTSD.

This may lead to a survival mode response where the individual is more likely to react to situations with "full activation," as if the circumstances were life threatening, or self-threatening. This automatic response of irritability & anger in individuals with PTSD can create serious problems in the workplace & in family life.

It can also affect the individuals' feelings about themselves & their roles in society. Another line of research is revealing that anger can also be a normal response to betrayal or to losing basic trust in others, particularly in situations of interpersonal exploitation or violence.

Finally, in situations of early childhood abuse, the trauma & shock of the abuse has been shown to interfere with an individual's ability to regulate emotions, which leads to frequent episodes of extreme or out of control emotions, including anger & rage.

Boosting your Self-Esteem by Becoming More Positive

One of the first steps on your journey to increased self-esteem should be to change the way you view your surroundings.

Rather than viewing the glass as half empty think of it as half full.