amazing! finally! this is something I've been saying for years, but finally!!!! hurray!!! read the story by clicking the underlined title of the article!

Dads’ comments may push girls toward bulimia: Parental criticism & weight worries affect daughters from young age

Sense & Sensitivity - in an insensitive world 

Thomas Eldridge

All your life you thought something was wrong with you. You were uncomfortable around noise. No one understood your need to be alone. You seem to know things without being told. The good news is that you aren't dysfunctional. You're a highly sensitive person (HSP).

You aren't the only one; you share this trait with at least 20% of the population who are referred to as shy or touchy.

HSP's respond strongly to external stimuli & become exhausted from taking in & processing these stimuli. They're born with a nervous system that sees, hears, smells or feels more than others. As adults, they also think, reflect or notice more than others.

The processing is largely unconscious or body-conscious. HSP's grow up feeling flawed, especially when loud music, crowds of people, or simply a busy day stresses them.

At such times, they need quiet time alone to recover. 

Problems can begin in childhood if their sensitivities aren't recognized. They can be deeply traumatized, even in the womb. They may know that they aren't wanted. The baby is more peaceful when alone.

Certain people terrify them, toy mobiles upset them, rocking irritates them & changes in weather make them restless. They may be colicky & their digestive systems may not tolerate food that's too hot or too cold.

If the needs of the baby are ignored the child becomes insecure.

Sensitive babies are also very creative & aware. They may walk early or smile a lot. When they begin to crawl they search out ways to alleviate their apprehension. When old enough, they spend time alone to regain their balance & energy.

This hyper-awareness to their environment makes HSP's cautious. They aren't known for their rash actions. They foresee the consequences of words & actions. Any kind of change can be difficult. HSP's can feel happy in their hearts on a joyous occasion but are unable to express it.

They're seen as inhibited or unsociable. They don't like social situations & prefer having deep intimate conversations with someone.

Rather than forcing themselves to fit in & be more outgoing HSP's need to learn to appreciate their sensitivity in non-stimulating ways. Developing boundaries for safety & comfort becomes important. If they're sensitive to bright fluorescent lights, chemical odors or certain kinds of people, HSP's need to use their creativity to find ways to avoid such stimuli.

HSP's often try to hide themselves. They rarely appreciate that many other people also have their traits. Sharing quiet meals & talking about spiritual matters can become intimacy heaven. Accepting that they really do enjoy long walks in nature, rather than tennis matches, alleviates stress.

Their tendency towards withdrawal presents unique difficulties in relationships. HSP's turn inwards for protection against what they're experiencing. Relationships of mutual respect provide a safe, consistent haven of acceptance.

HSP's must be wary of being people-pleasers. A lack of self-esteem can turn into a habit of satisfying the needs of the other person. They can end up feeling overwhelmed & alone in a relationship they can't let go of.

A sensitive person’s ability to pick up subtle cues & ambivalence in the unconscious processes of the other can affect communication in relationships. Even though they can tune into what's going on, they either can’t say it, or they blurt out a negative judgment. At these times, they're acting out their own past experiences of being humiliated for their sensitivities.

The way out of this dilemma is to become more conscious of their habitual reactions & to take more time out to be alone. They need partners to accept this strategy. They may require an entire night’s sleep to be clear enough to express how they feel about an issue.

HSP's appreciate intimacy. They actually prefer talking about their feelings & spirituality but often believe no one else is interested. An open & sharing relationship – preferably with another HSP – can be of great benefit in providing awareness of what does & doesn’t work.

This applies to both the spiritual-social areas & the physical body. 
Entertainment & excitement aren't what holds a sensitive relationship together. HSPs are more interested in deepening their self-awareness & never become bored of listening to their partner’s dreams.

A sensitive partner will notice subtle changes in the other’s mood or behavior. HSP's are very sensitive to food & physical environments. Food needs to be looked at from a different viewpoint than the food rules of the government. Not all foods are going to be equally tolerated by their body.

Stimulating substances such as alcohol, coffee, sugar & junk food are usually highly toxic to an HSP. Diets need to be tailor-made & regularly modified. There are no right diets that sensitive people can follow permanently. Their level of sensitivity is anything but static & rigid.

It requires a change in attitude to accept the fascinating refinement process continually being experienced by their body / mind / spirit. Generally, simple, frequent meals work best. Once HSP's stop trying to be like the strong & tough extroverts, they often develop a keen interest in & gratitude for their consciousness, which benevolently takes them into unexplored realms.

These complex inner realms, largely avoided by others, become their individuated paths to wholeness & happiness.